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Nights in my house are accompanied with comments such as “well, you’ll just have to learn” and “it’s really not that hard”. Ah, the classic eye-roll accompanied by a tut and a sighed out, “Americans…”. It’s the one I get any time I throw out meat that’s been in the fridge for days, or when I complain about it being over 38 degrees (celsius) with no air me roped in with the other 318.9 million Americans in the world. Jokes, sarcasm, and wit— things infamous for being untranslatable— are usually off the table. Awkward chuckles are shared after the joke is explained. I’m no small-town girl out of her element in a fashionable city.
I can’t be bothered to spend more than 30 minutes cooking. But, thanks to my fiancé’s Italian upbringing, I get judgemental glares whenever dinner time rolls around and I’ve put nothing on the table. Throwing out week-and-a-half-old milk doesn’t make me a typical American— whatever that is. If your expat relationship is anything like mine, you might not be able to communicate with your future in-laws in your own language.
This new method is excellent instead, because it manages to weed out all of them.
It also manages to weed out eternally undecided women, who are a colossal waste of time.
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Even if they’re not explicitly doted upon by their mom, most Italian boys will admit being catered to, to some extent by their loving mothers.
The unforgotten beautiful Grace Kelly literally personified the American dream: she won the Academy Award for best actress when she was still young, and then became a sovereign in the most beautiful, luxurious, iconic, romantic, glamorous place of the Côte d’Azur on the Mediterranean Sea.